Painful Embrace
by Sae Matsumoto
Summary: Draco is cold and distant. Harry is full of misery and pain. Can the two find comfort in eachother? [Complete] Read to find out. I promise the story is better than the summary. R&R Slash
1. Illness Illussion

Chapter 1: Illness Illusion  
  
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Hey everyone. This is my first fan fiction... for Harry Potter at least. So do forgive me if it's not at it's best and there are no OC's [at least I don't think there will be] but it's not exactly like the books. Actually that would be quite hard to accomplish for reasons I shall reveal a bit later. Until then please do enjoy! ^__^  
  
Anyway as you all know I do not own any of the characters although what a joy it would be to own Draco and Harry and Sevvie and make them do what I wish... hehe ::cough:: anyway...  
  
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"You will be a death eater and make me proud. Do you understand?"  
  
Draco stared at his father and with no expression nodded his head while he grumbled something. Expressionless, much how the boy always looked, to his father, his classmates, his professors... everyone. Completely cold and withdrawn. That was who Draco Malfoy was. And cruel of course, Draco was forever cruel, malicious, filled with a bitter disgust towards everyone.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
Draco lifted his eyes to his towering father. "Yes father, I understand."  
  
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Harry glared at his worst enemy... Draaco Malfoy. He couldn't stand the boy and all that he stood for. Harry couldn't quite comprehend why he was obssesed with the arrogant slynethevodr. Every moment though Harry couldnt stop thinking about he he detesed Malfoy and how he wished for the downfall of the boy. And yet through all this anger and madness there layed anohter emtion he coudlnt quite understand. All he knew was...  
  
"Harry, are you listening?" Hermione stared at her friend who apparently hadn't heard a word she said. She raised an eyebrow at Ron who just shrugged his shoulders.  
  
"What was that?" Harry replied shaking his head to clear himself of all his distorted thoughts.  
  
"I was asking if you chose a partner for the potions project."  
  
Harry moaned realizing he had completely forgot about the project. "Oh no 'Mione I forgot..."  
  
"Your joking right!? That means Professor Snape is going to pick a partner for you depending on who else forgot to find a partner. And you know he won't be kind about it!"  
  
"Yeah I know..." Harry mumbled as he took his belongings and departed the table leaving his friends behind he headed to the bathroom.  
  
He couldn't believe he was gonna be stuck with whoever Snape chose and the fact that he had to complete a project when he was under so much stress from all his other class work made him utterly angry. And with the mood he was in... Lately Harry was completely down though he couldn't quite explain it. There was just so much stress put on him; he was being forced to accept he was the 'hero'. Harry hated when people referred to him as the boy who lived and other such names. He didn't like not being able to go anywhere with out whispers and gossiping... all talk about the boy who lived. It was just too much. Another unexplainable wave of emotion. There was only one way to calm himself. Now fully in the bathroom and doing a quick check to see that it was empty he punched the mirror before him with all his might. As if raining down a shower of silver sharp stars, the mirror shattered and fell down in pieces on the floor. Harry leant over and took the piece of glass that seemed sharpest. Arching it over his wrist he took a deep breath and plunged the metallic shard into his awaiting flesh. The was never more relief than seeing the deep crimson liquid form on his wrist and gracefully drip from his tan skin to the cold floor. The blood flowed lightly to the ground and he gasped feeling the bitter pain comfort him in ways he couldn't comprehend. Then reality came back. He was just stupid Harry Potter standing in an empty bathroom in front of a hollow in the wall where the mirror once lay. He didn't have any true problems, at least not anymore now that he was at Hogwarts, unlike others who had much more misery and actual reason to feel so. He was pathetic and he didn't deserve to feel pain, not like others. His anger towards himself increasing, he gripped tighter the shard in his hand causing the piece of mirror to cut into his hand and fingers now, the same usual crimson blood pouring unto the floor. He wasn't worthy for any of this, he had no reason to feel sorry for himself and more than anything Harry detested self-pity. But still he hated feeling out of control, not feeling worth a damn, oh how he hated himself! With that he dropped the piece of glass ready to clean his wrist and then leave but he was suddenly thrown out of his routine. The door swung open and standing in the door way ... none other than Draco Malfoy.  
  
Harry bit back a scowl at his bitter disappointment to find his only enemy standing there at the door.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Harry hissed in a raspy voice that was low but threatening with a hint of hurt in it was well.   
  
"Your bleeding" Draco replied in a cold voice with no evident expression on his pale face.  
  
Harry was angered by the boys lack on emotion and the mere fact that out of all people, Draco Malfoy had to be the one to enter the bathroom and find Harry in such a vulnerable state. Still he couldn't respond to Draco's dry comment and the two boys stared at eachother in silence for a few moments unable to break eye contact. Draco's placid silver pools stared into Harry's pure dark green eyes. Harry saw a clear, cold and distant look in Draco's eyes and yet there was something else he couldn't quite decipher. Perhaps well-concealed angst? Nevertheless Draco found himself unable to pull away from Harry's eyes as well, observing them explore his, though, made him suddenly feel uncomfortable and, dare he say, vulnerable. Taking one more look Draco sharply broke the trance and glanced to the broken mirror. Harry, somewhat startled by Draco's sudden movement, felt a strong bitterness creep into his being.  
  
"Just leave Mafloy", He said quietly but nearly dangerously.  
  
The anger in Harry's voice half intrigued/half startled the Slytherindor Draco had to remember who he was. He was a Malfoy he couldn't and didn't feel any emotion. He couldn't afford it and this was how he had been brought up to be. But all these words he whispered in his mind did nothing to sway this burgeoning emotion and he felt, inevitably, one of his many walls and coldness fall as he glared into Harry's emerald eyes which reflected nothing back to him but bottomless misery.  
  
"Harry..."  
  
Harry paused for a moment realizing that for the first time Draco used his actual first name instead of calling him potter. But only for a moment. He quickly scowled and walked over the broken glass, past Malfoy and stormed out the bathroom.  
  
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Left in despair   
  
Whisper mistakes that cannot be forgiven  
  
Don't you wish for the rain again  
  
To cleanse these wounds  
  
I cry to the sky  
  
Though it never responds  
  
This hate its goes again  
  
I smile in spite of it all  
  
Let me tear my heart tonight  
  
Let the blood flow  
  
Let me cry until I am dead inside  
  
I like it better this way  
  
I wished for more then this  
  
But silence resides  
  
Take my soul if it makes you happy  
  
I don't want it anyway  
  
Let me bleed my sorrow  
  
I want this  
  
Take it away  
  
The screaming glass is silent now  
  
I felt heartbreak until I bleed  
  
But now its empty  
  
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Okay so that's it for now... I wish I could do better but this is my first time and I'll try my best to improve for later chapters. And I'll try to make them longer! Anyway please please please review! All types of reviews are welcome just please try not to be too harsh, this is my first. Hope you liked it! And by the way this isn't a song fic but I just decided that when useful to add some original poetry to the end of the chapter. ^__^ Thanks!  
  
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	2. Color Me Blood Red

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters, Im just having some fun with them. Don't worry, I don't bite......... hard. ^_~   
  
I'm so sorry this chapter took so long. I just got back from the hospital, well actually the emergency room. Have you ever had an IV stuck in your arm? Wow, that hurts so much. But anyway...Well I got some reviews... Oh and by the way the titles of the chapters may seem a bit strange but they all actually have something of a pattern. So please do enjoy! And also there may be many mistakes in this due to the fact that I wanted to get this out already because my beta is taking so long. Once she sends me back the corrected version I will replace...  
  
"A Fan": Thank you so much for reviewing. Im glad that you enjoyed it and don't worry I shall update as soon as I can. And I'm sure I'll find a way to contact you to tell you when it's updated. _   
  
Karen: My name is Sae... Im sure with enough sunsets you will understand that. Hm? And thanks for the review I am well aware that they are not acting like they would in the books. I did that on purpose...  
  
Cassidy: Heh, yeah something did sound wrong about that. Well thank you I made sure to correct it and thanks for the support I shall make sure to continue.  
  
Jazel: Yeah I do know it sucks, I'm really not much of a fan fiction writer. I've always enjoyed poetry and original stories but I thought I would try to do a fan fiction. I appreciate your honesty and though the characters seem flat [that's a word you will learn in highschool. Are you in that grade yet? I assume you are a bit younger...] I hope to give them more depth as the story goes on. I know it seems cliche but I have my reasons for adding in the self mutilation. Also I do believe I have read some stories where they even fall in love in the first chapter so I don't think mine is too early in development. I just don't want to stretch it out for such an unbearable time. And I did just receive a wonderful beta reader so that is covered.  
  
Miss. Charlet: Thank you for reviewing and I shall update as soon as I can  
  
Harry Pothead: Thanks for reviewing, I shall continue.  
  
Momo: Your such a doll! Thanks for reviewing and I suddenly thought of something strange and Gackt related but forgot. Heh oh well, we shall speak soon!  
  
Hedwig: Im glad you liked the beginning. Thanks for reviewing  
  
MalfoyRage: Thank you so much for reviewing. You are my favourite fan fiction writer and it mean so much to me that you read the chapter and took time to review. Even if we do speak in emails this still means a lot to me. I'm glad there is someone who understands and can 'read through the lines' as we have discussed many times. ^__^  
  
Midnightblues: Thanks so much for reviewing, Im so glad you liked it. I'm so happy you liked poem as well. As for the cutting part.... well I try... haha anyway I shall do my best to update soon.  
  
*Special thanks to La Chica who encouraged me to go on with this story despite my doubts and my lovely beta reader who without this story would be crap*  
  
Chapter 2: "Color Me Blood Red"   
  
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Harry stormed out of the bathroom heated with anger and thoroughly frustrated at having Malfoy unexpectedly walk in. He glanced at his wrist which had already stopped bleeding for it was never much of a deep cut anyway. To be honest with himself they always were a bit shallow, whether Harry made it so because he didn't want anyone to figure out what he was doing or perhaps he just didn't want to go too deep and die accidentally even Harry didn't know himself. All he knew at this point was that he was exhausted and needed more than anything sleep... escape. He entered his room and found that Ron had already returned and was fast asleep. He walked past Ron and headed to his own bed and fell upon it drained not wishing to even undress. He fell asleep immediately.  
  
Harry found himself in an empty room, alone, the only company he entertained was the dark shadows that fell across the cold floor. Harry stared at the shadows as they seemed to dance and mock him as he lay silent and bleeding on the floor. The boy who lived was filled with a bitter animosity to these shadows and the night sky, those horrid taunting stars. He lifted his head and stared at the lonely moon and felt a sudden pity for it.. It stands prisoner in the sky held against it's will with the beautiful stars all taunting it for one day they will die. One day the lovely stars will be released from the tiring night sky and fade and leave this unbearable life. Not the moon, no the moon was cursed to watch over the horrors of all that passed, is passing and all that is yet to pass beneath its single, unwavering eye. It saddened Harry but he wasn't able to think on it for too long for suddenly he, too, felt an unbearable pain. It was coming from his arms and hands. He couldn't quite remember cutting them but now they were pouring out scarlet misery like a bodily River Styx. Harry was ready to scream but he suddenly felt a hand over his mouth. Taking his jade eyes down to the hand he saw it was extremely pale and somewhat delicate though it didn't seem to belong to a woman. Harry, then felt a presence behind him and a soft low voice was now speaking into his ear.  
  
"Don't cry... Silence now please. I will take away the pain, you won't need to bleed anymore. Let me make it better. I'll hold you in my arms until the sadness goes away, and we'll wither away together until the sky can learn to love your laughter. I'll make it go away."  
  
Harry felt a sudden strange comfort at the light and nearly seductive words that were being whispered to him. Making a quick move he turned his head back so to see the nameless face of his potential savior. Harry gaped as he saw the person standing behind him... Draco Malfoy. He tried to push away but found that he couldn't move, he couldn't speak either. All he could do was stare into the other boys eyes, the other boys face that seemed to be filled with nothing other than concern. And yet Harry didn't, coudln't really trust this ghostly boy that stood next to him. Turning away, once again Harry tried to scream...  
  
"Harry, Harry! Wake up!", Ron said shaking his friend doing his best to awaken Harry.  
  
Harry woke up with a start and took a few moments to realize where he was. Then memories faded back to him. There Harry was in his room sweating and breathing heavy and looking at the rays of sun that filtered through the window he could see it was past morning. Harry looked to Ron and saw that he was dressed and ready to go.  
  
"Are you okay Harry? I didn't want to wake you up this morning because you were so deeply asleep. But when I came out of the shower you looked really bad. You were mumbling and you just started to scream."  
  
Harry knew why he was screaming, he was in that room, that horrid room and he was bleeding, dying and the person there comforting him was Malfoy. It made him sick just thinking about it. Of course he couldn't tell Ron though. Ron wouldn't understand.  
  
"Oh yeah... I just had a bad dream that's all. What time is it anyway?"  
  
"Too late for you to take a shower. Actually you better hurry up or we're gonna be late for Potions Class. And I know you don't want that."  
  
"Okay, Okay... Listen you go ahead I'll catch up."  
  
"Are you sure Harry? You really don't look to good, I could always wait for you."  
  
"No Ron, go ahead. Better have just one of us late."  
  
Ron nodded his head at this and left the room. Harry took a few moments to catch his breath and recover from his odd dream. How could he have dreamt of that fiend Draco!? Although he had to admit he did feel a strange comfort from the boy in his dream. He couldn't quite explain it but he didn't want to. Suddenly disgusted by his thoughts, Harry stormed out the room and rushed to his potions class. He seemed to always be late and having Professor Snape so obviously hate him was no help. With these thoughts so crowded in his mind, Harry stumbled into the potion's class to see that everyone was seated and staring at his rather clumsy entrance.  
  
"Late again Harry? That's 10 points from Gryfindor! I would also give you detention but I think you will be punished enough by the announcement I'm about to make," the potions master said smiling malevolently as he glared at the boy who lived.  
  
Harry groaned slightly and took a seat next to Hermione who was giving him a sympathetic look. He knew that this bad news was going to have something to do with the fact that he had forgotten to pick a partner for the potions project. He glanced up at Snape with trepidation and waited for his announcement.  
  
"Well after checking my list I see that only two of my students didn't choose a partner so this will be quite easy to pair the two up. Potter and... Malfoy."  
  
The potions master skillfully hid a smirk as he headed back to the front of the class. Harry was speechless and the blonde slytherin looked stunned at this news. He could hear Pansy giggling next to him as she whispered something in his ear but he couldn't quite comprehend it. He was in pure shock after hearing that he would have to be paired up with the famous Harry Potter. He couldn't bear to be near the boy and his stupid friends, especially that know-it-all muggle girl. He had enough on his mind with his pushy, cruel father and all the pressure to be a death eater and follow the dark lord Voldemort. Not that he wanted to be this kind, helpful student that cared for everyone yet Draco still couldn't imagine entangling himself in so much darkness. But he feared his father Lucius, feared and respected, hated and yet still wished to please. But his thoughts and feelings on this matter didn't ever matter. He had to obey his father and Draco couldn't imagine any unearthly force which would convince him not to. As if these pained thoughts weren't enough cruelty on a suffocating spirit, at that moment, Draco realized he was staring at Harry. Dammit!  
  
"Mr. Malfoy. Would you mind following instructions!?."  
  
Snape's clear, empty voice broke Draco from his complex thoughts and he nearly turned red when he looked about to see that everyone had moved to sit next to their partner. Draco stopped himself from showing his acute discomfort when he realized that the emotions from the confusing thoughts that had circled through his mind just a moment ago may already be revealing themselves on his pale face. He saw Harry staring right back at him and became quickly angered that the boy who lived might have seen him actually show emotion; that simply wouldn't do. Draco quickly hardened his face and put back on the empty, cold countenance that was so usual for him.  
  
"I suppose I could....," Draco drawled as he smirked and headed to sit next to Harry who quickly took his eyes away from Draco and placed them on the book he had in front of him.  
  
Harry couldn't believe what he has just seen. It seemed, to him, that Draco actually was expressing some type of emotion, some sort of pain. Draco was staring at Harry but obviously didn't see him. To Harry, it appeared, that Draco wasn't even aware of where he was. His silver-like eyes were lost, drowning in fear, memories, and fierce melancholy. But then, just as suddenly as these fervent emotions came, they unexpectedly disappeared and were replaced with his usual coldness. Harry couldn't understand the boy... nor did he want to! Why was he even thinking about this right now. Harry felt frustrated once again and decided not to give another thought to the arrogant Slytherin. All Harry had to worry about now was getting through this project with his worst enemy next to Voldemort.  
  
"Look, you and I are going to have to be civil if we ever want to complete this project."  
  
Harry lifted his eyes so to see if Draco would agree with his proposal but found that Draco was looking at something else. Harry felt a flush creep over his face as he followed Draco's eyes and discovered they were staring at Harry's wrist and the light scratch that was on it from when he cut himself last night. The boy who lived quickly took his hand and placed in under the table as Draco lifted his silver eyes of ice and stared into emerald eyes of fire.  
  
"Fine Potter, I'll be 'civil'... for the projects sake at least."  
  
TBC  
  
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Crimson tears left here to melt with misery  
  
Sadness cant understand  
  
Die under these forgetful stars  
  
don't look back to the past  
  
I tried my best falling all the time  
  
Still I reached for the sky  
  
Take this hurt, I wont feel the same  
  
Given far too much pain  
  
I'll disappear again  
  
Look into these eyes I tried to hide  
  
Take it all away from here  
  
Away from it all  
  
Searching for the right  
  
Tainted dreams awaken  
  
The ocean tried to sweep it away  
  
The blood tried to run  
  
I couldn't wake that night  
  
The rope wasn't strong enough  
  
The bones broken instead  
  
Taking the wrong away  
  
never granted eternal rest  
  
Take this hurt, I wont feel the same  
  
Given far too much pain  
  
I'll disappear again  
  
Look into these eyes I tried to hide  
  
Take it all away from here  
  
Away from it all  
  
Take this hurt, I wont feel the same  
  
Given far too much pain  
  
I'll disappear again  
  
Look into these eyes I tried to hide  
  
Take it all away from here  
  
Away from it all  
  
Close your eyes now...  
  
I wont listen....  
  
Let the cruel sun take it with him...  
  
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Okay so that is the end of the next chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. I found the poem above from when I wrote it about a week ago and I thought that if you used your imagination it kinda worked with the chapter. Anyway I hope to improve the chapters and story as it goes along. Please Please Please review! I'm gonna start something I have seen a fellow fan fic writer do for more reviews. So I shall not post the next chapter until I get five new reviews. Okay.... hehe thanks! 


	3. Regret

Disclaimer: The only thing I own is Sev's love... hahaha.... as if he loves....  
  
Okay, so I got the third part out. Don't worry the good stuff will come soon enough, I just figure I should build the characters a bit so everything seems more believable. Okay well enjoy! And please review! I got five reviews really fast so to make sure I have chance to write all of these chapters I am gonna change it to ten reviews for next installment. Sorry, ^ ^;;;; anyway enjoy!  
  
Lampshadesrgreat: Thank you for revewing, Im glad you liked it.  
  
Pyrefly: Im glad you liked it, I shall update as soon as possible. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Freeze Up: Well, Im very glad that you decided to reveiw my story! Heh, I love getting reviews, especially good ones. I didnt mean to make Draco completely in character anyway... haha I probably couldn't if I wanted to. I should put that somewhere though. Im glad you like the story and the poem and don't worry Im fine. Just some dehydration and anemia. Thanks for asking though, it was very nice ^__^ Haha I dont think you are a loser. Thanks for the nice review!  
  
Courtney: Your forgiven, lol, many a times I dont sign in either. Haha, Im glad you liked it and dont worry the fith one followed soon after yours. ^ _ ^  
  
NayNymic: Thanks for reviewing. Haha yeah I had a feeling I spelled many things wrong in the first. I shall fix it in a bit. Thanks  
  
Rose Creighton: Thank you, I shall keep it up try to put forth more confidence. I have written for nearly all my life but this is the first time I have really ever shown anyone my writting. Im glad you like it!  
  
Malfoyrage: Sorry hun, I shall remember to tell you when it is updated. Until then.  
  
Chapter 3: "Regret"  
  
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"I'm so sorry Harry, I bet it's gonna be horrible," Ron stated as he took a bit into his food while giving his best friend a sympathetic look.  
  
"I'll manage... somehow," Harry responded just toying with his food not really having a large appetite.  
  
"Well don't worry too much, I'm sure if you just don't think about it things will be easier. I can't imagine Malfoy is that bad," Hermione stated rather thoughtfully as she glanced over to Draco's table.  
  
Ron scowled at this. "Yeah at least that's what you wanted to believe last year!"  
  
Harry raised an eyebrow and turned with confused eyes to Hermione. "'Mione?"  
  
The girl with the curly hair blushed slightly before she began to speak. "Well to tell you the truth Harry... I know it seems insane but I had a small crush on Malfoy last year. I don't know why... I mean he was so cruel and still is so cruel to me. But, well, he's hot!"  
  
"Ugh, she told me the same thing last year and I would have told you Harry but I didn't want you to become as disgusted as I did."  
  
"Well," retorted the bushy haired girl, "I certainly don't like him anymore! Haha, but what about you Harry? I haven't heard you speak about any person you had a crush on in a long time."  
  
Hermione was right, Harry hadn't talked about liking anyone in over three years. But the truth was he hadn't found himself attracted to anyone, at least not any girls. In all honesty, Harry wasn't even sure he liked girl all that much. To him, personally, there was something more attractive about the male's body than the females. Of course that didn't mean he was gay... did it? No, it didn't, Harry decided although the back of his mind still wondered.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
Harry shook his head so to clear his mind. "Well, anyway I better get going."  
  
"Harry where are you going?" Ron asked through a mouthful of food.   
  
"Well I thought I would visit Hagrid before meeting up with Malfoy. Malfoy and I agreed to meet in my room to work on the project in a about thirty minutes."  
  
"Have fun."  
  
"Yeah, I'm gonna have a blast," Harry responded his words dripping with sarcasm.  
  
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Harry arrived at Hagrid's hut and didn't even need to knock on the door before Hagrid greeted him and invited the boy who lived inside.  
  
"Harry come on in! What brings you to my estate today?"  
  
Harry sighed a bit and took a seat on a nearby chair. "I just wanted to talk I guess."  
  
"Hmm, you don't sound too good. What's the matter? Is something bothering you?"  
  
Harry was ready to tell Hagrid of all the many things that had been on his mind, about his hatred towards his uncle, his insecurities, his inevitable fear of everything he didn't know and wasn't ready to know. But then reality came back and he felt a bitter disgust towards himself. He hated self-pity and he wasn't about to start complaining about every little problem he thought he had. That was last thing Harry wanted and he wasn't worthy... his problems or himself. He never was and never would be worthy of a damn thing.  
  
"It's just.... nothing, never mind it's not important..."  
  
"Harry, if you ever have a problem you can talk to me. Listen, everyone has issues and something that troubles them and it's not important what other people's problems are. I know you have always thought you weren't important compared to others despite how everyone fussed over you. But that was just your sinister Uncle that wanted you to think that way. It doesn't matter what caused you to feel upset but the fact that you do feel that way. That is what's important. Do you understand Harry?"  
  
"Yes, thank you Hagrid"  
  
Harry knew that Hagrid was probably right but still he didn't feel like pouring out his soul at the moment. He wanted someone to hear him though, Harry knew that... But not Hagrid, someone who was truly hurt like him and lost. Someone...  
  
"Hey Harry, can you bring me some towels from the bathroom?"  
  
"Sure..."  
  
Harry headed to the bathroom and returned with the towels but with a puzzled look on his face. He handed Hagrid the towels and moved towards the door.  
  
"Well I better get going..."  
  
"Okay Harry nice to see you!"  
  
"Umm... Hagrid?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What was that in the toilet?"  
  
"Oh... beans... they were old."  
  
Hagrid said that with something of a guilty expression as he closed the door. Harry stared at the closed door for a moment, Hagrid is a strange one he thought to himself. At any rate he better hurry and meet Malfoy, he didn't want the slytherin to bother him about being late.  
  
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Perhaps Harry rushed over a bit quick because it turned out that he had arrived back to his room quite early. He settled himself into the empty room, glanced out the window next to his bed and watched the last few golden rays of light fade as the sun admired defeat and set beneath the fragrant earth. His room was now slightly darkened the fading light of the sky causing shadows to appear in on his carpet. Harry sighed and moved away from his window and headed to a small table against the wall where he came across a picture of Ron, Hermione, and himself. He took a good look at it before setting it done. Harry knew all of his friends truly cared about him but still he couldn't find himself able to confide in them. They just wouldn't understand and there was something else... Besides the fact that he hated pity if he were to share his worries he would like to comfort at the same time. But a such a situation would not happen with Ron or Hermione. And as much as he loved his friends he was also terribly envious of them. Hermione was so very smart, completely brilliant... Harry only wished for a bit of her swift intelligence. And then there was Ron, perhaps he wasn't the smartest one in Hogwarts but still he was always smiling and keeping thing optimistic and positive. That was a trait Harry always wished for. But no, Harry wasn't like that and he hated himself for it.   
  
Suddenly in all his bitterness, Harry felt the craving to hurt himself once again. He wanted nothing more than at that moment to feel a sharp blade enter his useless flesh and take everything away. He wanted the pain for so many reasons, to comfort himself, to prove he could still feel, to express his anger. He needed, craved the agonizing pain. Harry scanned over the table and found a razor laying there, as if it were awaiting him. He lifted the blade slowly and held it to over his flesh when he heard a familiar voice behind him.  
  
"Don't cut yourself Harry, it won't solve a thing in the long run," the familiar voice drawled.   
  
Harry turned around and found himself face to face with Draco Malfoy. He dropped the razor and angrily and flushed a bit, angry at being caught again by the arrogant slytherin.  
  
"What do you care?" Harry hissed with contempt, but something else as well. Draco locked eyes with the boy who lived and noticed a bit of a pleading expression in the dark emeralds.  
  
Draco took a moment again hypnotized by Harry's deep eyes which carried interminable pain and mystery. At the moment all Draco wanted was to discover the many secrets that lay inside but then he caught himself. Of course he didn't want to discover anything about the boy, nothing at all. And he didn't care... did he? Of course not, he told Harry to stop cutting himself out of mere consideration, that was all. But Malfoy's didn't have consideration. Nothing even close to it. With that Draco broke the eye contact once again and smirked.  
  
"I don't..," he sneered.  
  
Harry couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed at this but he quickly hid the hurt expression in his face before Draco could detect it. Harry took the books that were in Malfoy's hand and set them on the table.  
  
"Good... now let's start our project."  
  
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Those pained eyes stare blankly at me  
  
Silent tears are unavoidable  
  
You wanted to move closer and take my hands into yours  
  
to comfort the miserable look in your face  
  
I wanted to give you everything right there  
  
but im just a lost child indeed.....  
  
I wanted to save your from drowning in youe endless pain  
  
and yet all I could do was stare with no expression  
  
it seemed I was cold....  
  
If only I would have been able to wrap my arms around your trembling body  
  
But I was foolish...  
  
You cried a thousand tears that night  
  
I silently walked away  
  
***********************************************************  
  
Okay there is the third part. Might I ask most of the readers not to mind some of the strange parts with Hagrid, I wrote that only because of a few inside jokes with my beta and I. Speaking of Beta's, my beta takes a bit of time to check my chapters so if anyone is interested in betaing this story and is semi-quick I would really appreciate it. Thanks much! Im not sure here this story is going to go... Hmmmm... oh well I'll figure it out and you know the deal... Ten more reviews for the next chapter! 


	4. Beauty and Stupid

Disclaimer: I only own the plot to this fan fiction and the poetry written at the bottom, not the characters....  
  
Well I didn't know it would be so hard to get ten reviews. I was gonna wait but I don't think I'll ever get more reviews so Im gonna post. I had this written for a while and its not fair to my few fans who do read my fic. Thanks to those! Would anyone like to hear the story of how I got sucked up in this world of Harry Potter fan fiction? Tell me in your reviews and I shall consent if anyone is interested and tell at the end of the next chapter. Oh and by the way might I say that Harry and Draco are supposed to be OOC. Haha, onto thanking my lovely reviewers...  
  
Rose: Thanks for reviewing again! Yay I've got a regular. I'm glad you liked it. Haha indeed 'Mione does think Draco is a sexy beast. Haha, but guess who else does too... [not including me]  
  
Raven: Thanks so much for reviewing, I'm glad you think it's improving! Talk to you soon.  
  
Pyrefly: It's okay, I've reviewed wrong chapter before too. And don't worry, heh, I knew what you meant about the H/D fan fics. ^__^  
  
Sara: Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it! ^ ^  
  
Mindi: Thanks for reviewing. Haha, I know what you mean... Anyway though I'll make sure to go reviews yours!   
  
Chelsea: Yeah, I've gotten the OOC thing a lot. Heh, I guess I was kinda going for that... Anyway all things shall be explained eventually. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
Lampshadesrgreat: Thanks for reviewing again. Don't worry I think you're number six or something. Haha, anyway what weather? Ahhh, there a lot of sun here... ::hisses at sun light::. Oh well I can hope for the next rain.  
  
Chapter 4: "Beauty and Stupid"  
  
##################################################  
  
"Where do you think we will find all of these ingredients... Dra-Draco?"  
  
Harry flinched slightly as he forced himself to speak Malfoy's first name. It was his idea for a truce between the two during the time they worked on this project, which of course seemed wise enough, but perhaps he was a bit forward in thinking that calling eachother by their first names would be a good idea as well. Draco had reluctantly agreed when the boy who lived purposed the idea but still, just like Harry, had much difficulty saying actually getting the name out. Nevertheless, the boys agreed to this truce.  
  
"I'm not sure, I could ask my father," Draco replied with a little snort, "He could probably get everything and anything I asked for."  
  
"Of course," Harry mumbled while flipping through the book again.  
  
"What was that Pot... eh, What was that?" Draco still was having trouble speaking his first name. As far as the Slytherin was concerned it was a great step for him to just not call him Potter.  
  
"Of course your father would get you anything, he *could* have anything and everything. Don't you lead just the perfect life Mal- Draco."  
  
Draco sneered at this. "You don't know anything about my father, my life, or me. Hah, my life is far from perfect, not that you would notice all stuck in your own world of self-pity."  
  
Harry gasped slightly at the boys sudden show of rage, his sudden show of pure emotion. Then anger began to creep into Harry's face. How dare he say that! Draco's arrogant eyes glared at Harry as he stood there shaking slightly but willing himself to calm down. Harry had to remember that they agreed on a truce of sorts and he certainly wouldn't be the one to break it. Even if Draco was supercilious beyond belief.  
  
"Your right, I don't know a damn thing about your life," Harry said slowly and calmly. Draco stared at him for a moment slightly surprised that the boy who lived nearly answered in an apology to his previous outburst. Seeing Harry's emerald eyes stare at him in such a placid manner let Draco lessen his cold countenance as he actually flashed Harry a smile rather than a smirk.  
  
"Yeah, well let's continue then."  
  
Harry stared a bit dumbfounded at the smiling Slytherin next to him and found himself in so much shock that he couldn't help but smile too. He locked a glare with the almost lighter and less cold silver eyes next to him and handed the book over so that they could both examine the page.  
  
"Lets..."  
  
####################################################  
  
Draco entered the food hall [or what not] and headed over slowly to the Slytherin table. His icy eyes danced around well aware of most of everyone watching him. He laughed lightly to himself. They all feared him or worshiped him, and some a mix of both. Either way Draco enjoyed the attention he received immensely. Draco was about to take a seat when he saw Pansy leap out of her chair and run towards him.  
  
"Oh Draci, I'm so glad you're here. Awww you must be so frustrated working with stupid Potter. Oh, I'll make it better!"  
  
Pansy threw her arms around Draco giving him a bone-crushing hug where she attempted to kiss him as well. She batted her eyes and gave her evil smile which was much more a smirk.  
  
"Ugh Pansy, get the hell off me!"   
  
Draco made a face and then pushed her... hard. She looked surprised at first, then a little hurt, and lastly her ugly temper rose.  
  
"What's the matter Draco, don't you love me anymore?"  
  
Draco scowled at the pouting girl before him.  
  
"Of course I don't love you! I never did love you and never will. Don't you get it. I don't want you. In fact I don't even really want a girlfriend in the first place."  
  
Draco wondered to himself if she would get his hidden meaning, the slight suggestion of the fact he discovered last year. That he was attracted to guys, not girls. Of course her thickheaded mind never understood a thing!  
  
"Draci, I don't care what you think you want. You know your family expects you to marry me. We're meant for eachother my dragon."   
  
Again she went to wrap her arms around but not before the blonde-haired boy pushed her off once more.  
  
"Stop Pansy! I don't care what you or my family think. Even if I wanted to date a girl it certainly wouldn't be you."  
  
Pansy's eyes hardened a bit as she turned utterly cold staring at Draco before her.  
  
"Don't care what your family thinks? Well, it's not as if you have a choice or say in any matter with your family. And you must care what your father thinks. You listen to his every word and do all his bidding for him, your caught in his little web of lies and deceit where he uses you as he wishes. Don't act as if you have control my sweet, for you have none whatsoever. You're just a mere puppet. And what would your precious father think if he knew that you broke up with me and were actually being friendly with the boy who lived, Harry Potter. I've seen you two together in the library laughing. Since when have the two of you become friends!?"  
  
Her cold words carried like ice stabbing into Draco's weakened flesh. Still, Draco kept his stance and instead of showing any emotion he smiled cooly.  
  
"Pansy, I never dated you therefore there is no way I could have broken up with you. Furthermore Potter and I aren't friends, we are just being civil for this potions project. I don't have any friends, nor do I need any!"  
  
With that Draco turned his face away from her and took a seat at the table throughly ignoring her. Pansy grunted something inaudible and marched out of the room, still mumbling and pouting to herself. Draco knew though, somewhere deep inside, that Pansy was right about his father. Draco was just a silly puppet with his father. And he hated it but for once in his life had no control over it. And Draco hated that as well. But she was wrong about one thing... he wasn't becoming friends with Harry. Harry and him were just working together in order to complete the damn project. Just at that moment he lifted his silvery eyes and found the boy who lived staring at him. Draco felt a jolt run through his body and could sense a faint flush creeping into his pale face but he quickly dismissed the foreign emotion. Still, Harry's faded jade eyes glanced deeply into his own greyish ones and once again Draco found himself lost in their secrets and interminable hurt that lay deep within. But the look didn't last long before Draco broke it and stared down at the table. Damn! He let himself, once again, get stuck in those hypnotizing eyes. He didn't like to feel such a lack of self-control as he felt when he became lost in those forest green eyes. Why was Harry staring at him anyway? Did he see that big blowout with Pansy? It didn't matter, though, because when he lifted his eyes once again he saw that Harry was no longer staring in Draco's direction but rather talking fervently to his muggle friend Hermione and idiotic friend Ron.  
  
*******************************************************  
  
Does this voice remain?  
  
Over broken clouds that scatter the arrogant sky  
  
I forgot how to cry when I felt the last pain  
  
Looking to the malevolent space I hide  
  
Until I can breath....  
  
Again  
  
Now these eyes are piercing  
  
I cant keep the sadness away  
  
I would much rather run  
  
Silent tears masking my face instead  
  
I would much rather hide  
  
Do you like the show?  
  
************************************  
  
Huzzah, 'tis completed. Soon enough I know I am going to have to start writing the poems at the bottom on the spot. So far I have been lucky with finding all of these strewn in some of my lost files but who knows how long they will last. Anyway I do apologize for the lack of flow in this chapter. I'm starting to run out of ideas for the in-between parts. Ah, I know I can write better than this so please do stick with the story and hopefully it will improve. Okay, well please review. 


	5. Powder Snow

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Harry Potter series or what not but I do own the new Moi Dix Mois album. And it's very good as well, although it does sound a lot like Malice Mizer in a mix of Gackt era meirvelles and Klaha era. As well as the vocalist does sound a whole lot like Klaha. Of course this is probably just showing how much of an influence Mana-sama had while in Malice Mizer. Anyway I just felt the urge to ramble about some j-rock for a bit. **sweat drop**  
  
Ah what a joy to get reviews. I was gonna wait to post this but I'm actually ahead [I have chapter six done as well] so I see no problem in posting this now and the good reviews made me very happy. And I suppose this happiness leads me to update quicker... Anyway I'm pretty happy about having five chapters and only one flame which was by an extremely young and naive girl. I guess I feel a little weird about all these seemingly pre-teens rambling about why they don't like my fic. Not to be down on any of my young reviewers.. I LOVE YOU GUYS!  
  
Pyrefly: Don't worry, when I said completed I meant the chapter, not the story. Haha, they haven't even had sex yet and how could I end it without that! Hehehe, in any case I don't know how long this is gonna be or if I'm gonna go for a sad or a joyful ending but we shall see. Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Minerva4: You think my writing is superb!? ::blushes:: Arigato gozaimasu! I didn't even know that I had a plot and was getting nervous about that but thanks! I'm glad now that there is one and it's actually not that bad, hehe!   
  
Malfoyrage: Thanks for reviewing! Im glad you enjoy it!  
  
Lampshadesrgreat: Yeah, no one ever responded to my reviews either and it always pissed me off. But in any case I'm glad you like it!  
  
Voltor: I'm glad you really liked it and I'm so happy that you put me on your favourite stories list. Hehe, I feel so honored, thanks!  
  
Rose: Haha, well let's see I will give you a chocolate covered Draco if you can figure out the pattern of the titles to my chapters. If you read the A/N's at the beginning they may help in figuring it out! Until then I'm glad you enjoy and keep reading!  
  
Frito The Great: I'm glad you liked it, I'll keep reading yours!  
  
Chapter five: "Powder Snow"  
  
################################################  
  
"Well Harry, it's been just about a week of working with Malfoy and your nearly done. I don't know how you survived!"  
  
"Actually 'Mione, I thought it was going to be really bad at first but with the truce we formed and all... it wasn't that bad."  
  
"You're joking!" Ron exclaimed appearing from what seemed out of no where, "You're friends with Draco Malfoy now!?"  
  
Harry actually blushed now though he couldn't really explain why. "I'm not friends with him Ron, we just have been civil and that has helped greatly in making progress with the project."  
  
"And you guys have never spoken about your personal life, or anything that might touch on the topic of having you two become friends?" Hermione asked innocently enough with a raised eyebrow which received a large chuckle from Ron.  
  
"Why do you want to know so bad if he's friends with Malfoy now? Do you think Harry might hook you two up?", Ron enquired snorting again as Hermione turned a light shade of red.  
  
"Well," Harry began with a bit of a smile, "I don't think you have too much of a chance with him Hermione. He's... well, he's gay."  
  
Ron's eye grew wide with disgust as Hermione opened her mouth slightly in shock.  
  
"You two must have gotten somewhat close for him to tell you that," Hermione stated.  
  
"Well, yeah I mean we do talk occasionally about some personal subjects."  
  
"Wait. H-He's gay? That's revolting!" Ron exclaimed while making a face.  
  
"What's so bad about being gay!?" Harry said suddenly extremely defensive and a little angry.  
  
"Harry," Hermione asked slowly, "Are *you* gay?"  
  
"That's none of your damn business!" Harry hissed with sudden anger and embarrassment as he took his books and headed out of the library.  
  
Harry stumbled out of the door and headed down the hallway towards Draco's room. They had decided to finish up the project today and Harry agreed upon completing it in the Slytherin's room.. Harry needed to calm down though before he arrived at Draco's door. He was angry at the his nosy friends and the calm way Hermione asked him that question as if it weren't a big deal. How could she   
  
ask him something he didn't even know the answer to himself. Harry already had enough on his mind with all the turbulent emotions that had been encircling him lately, the last thing he needed was to be wondering if he was gay. And even worse if he had a crush on Draco Malfoy... WHOA, where did that come from Harry wondered. He didn't even know how he came across such a thought.  
  
"Of course I don't have a crush on Draco Malfoy," he whispered to himself in the empty hallway.  
  
They weren't even really friends. It didn't make any sense at all, they were just enemies a week ago. Sure they had been civil to eachother and even made conversation. Hell, when they were both in the mood they actually had good conversations. When Draco dropped his guard he would be surprisingly nice and tell Harry about a few things that bothered him, things that he liked, disliked. And even now and then Harry felt the slightest bit comfortable sharing his feelings with the Slytherin. It was nice to speak to someone who he could tell was hurt as well. Of course Draco would never admit he wasn't feeling the happiest, but Harry could see it when their eyes met and locked. When his icy silver-grey eyes met with Harry's and the way Draco's graceful pale face would soften slightly under the other boys scrutiny, his body quite fit from quidditch ... What was Harry thinking!? He didn't think of Draco that way, no he didn't and that wasn't even relevant to his train of thoughts. After convincing himself of that he went to go knock on the door but he saw that it was already slightly open and Harry could hear voices inside. Peeking in slightly without being seen he saw Draco and his father Lucius Malfoy talking, or rather auguring.   
  
"Father it's just a potions project! And it's almost over as well!"  
  
"Don't you dare raise your voice to me boy! I still don't like the idea of you having to work with Harry Potter. I will be make sure that something like this never happens again."  
  
"It's not that ba-"  
  
"I told you not to answer me back! I won't take this from you. You listen to me and follow everything I say. I do not appreciate this new side of you that has appeared suddenly; this side which has doubt in me. I will not tolerate it any longer! Do you understand!?"  
  
Harry could hear a painstakingly long silence where even the fervent beat of his heart was deafening to his ears. But the silence lasted only a few moments before it was broken with a loud smacking noise. Before Harry could see anything he could hear Lucius heading towards the door; quickly Harry hid himself so that the Slytherin's father could not spot him while departing. As soon as Lucius was out of sight Harry ran into the room to find Draco on the floor, his delicate hand to his pale face, where a deep crimson liquid dripped nearly elegantly making a stark contrast against the boy's light skin. Obviously his father had slapped him, and rather hard for that matter for it had broken his skin and the blood was quite visible as it flowed slowly over Draco's hand where he had it placed over his cheek. Harry went to pull Draco's hand away so he could see the wound better and perhaps use a quick spell to heal it but he only had his hand a few inches from Draco's face when the blonde slytherin spoke.  
  
"Don't touch me...," he hissed his silver eyes glaring dangerously at Harry.  
  
Harry stood there speechless, surprised and nearly moved from the fear and hurt he saw deep within Draco's eyes. Harry couldn't help but be drawn to this new side of Draco, seeing him so vulnerable and miserable like that, lying on the floor while the dark blood spread over his white powder snow face. It was hopelessly enticing and Harry found himself ignoring the Slytherin's words and instead moving closer to the boy.  
  
"Draco," the boy's name becoming much easier to say after the week they had worked together, "Please let me heal the cut."  
  
"I can do it myself, I don't need your help!"  
  
Draco moved away from Harry and took his wand muttering a few words causing the bloody bruise to disappear. He stayed silent, his silver eyes ablaze mixed with embarrassment and anger knowing that Harry had witnessed most, if not all, of the previous events.  
  
"Draco, you shouldn't let your father treat you like that. You need to stand up for yourself."  
  
"You don't understand Potter, you never will. It's not that simple, you don't even know me."  
  
Harry sighed and in spite of himself let one of his walls fall. "So let me."  
  
"Let you what?" Draco raised an elegant brow.  
  
"Let me know you, the real you. The side of Draco that sometimes you let out when we are alone. When you smile sincerely and actually laugh, the side of you when I can detect some hurt in your eyes, concern, the side of you that your so afraid to let anyone else see. I wanna know that Draco, I want you to show him to me. I want you to drop this act that you are so cold and don't care for a thing because deep down I know that you are capable of feelings."  
  
Draco took in a sharp breath at everything Harry just said. It was true they actually found that, despite their quite contrasting differences, they did get along fairly well with eachother, though he knew neither of them would admit it. And yet here stood the boy who lived nearly pleading with Draco to be friends with him. There had to be something wrong here.  
  
"Though your offer is quite interesting I must decline. I don't have or need friends Potter," Draco said coldly his eyes of ice flashing into Harry's eyes of green fire.  
  
"You know that's not true Draco, whether you want to admit it or not we have been what you may call friends this past week, and as much as a arrogant conceited git you are I still have enjoyed it. I can tell you've been through some stuff in your past. You do need someone to help you through it, won't you even except my friendship?"  
  
Draco stared once more cooly at the dark-haired boy and tried to remain with this emotionless mask. But it was painfully hard to do so. He hated himself for thinking this way, for being so weak, for actually wanting Harry's friendship, his help more than anything at the moment. But he couldn't trust him could he? Malfoy's didn't trust... they couldn't. That was a weakness. And yet seeing Harry's forest green eyes filled with concern and something else that Draco couldn't quite decipher, he didn't mind being weak, at least not for the moment.  
  
"I suppose I could."  
  
Harry pure and innocent bright smile was enough to break Draco's heart right there but he held himself together. Seeing Draco was still on the floor, Harry took his slightly tanned hand and offered it to the Slytherin who in turn placed his pale one into Harry's the lighter skin tone contrasting against the other boy's. They both felt a jolt go through them as their hands touched and Harry pulled Draco off the floor even though Draco was most likely a bit stronger than him. Still Draco could feel his heart pounding at the slight physical contact that he and Harry had just made and saw that Harry must be feeling the same by the light flush the had crept into Harry's face. Harry quickly removed his hand from Draco's.  
  
"And Draco... one more thing..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Please try to stop calling me Potter."  
  
There was a slight smile on the blonde Slytherin's face. "Sure Harry..."  
  
*****************************************************  
  
Again pitifully here comes a painless end.  
  
What makes me do this ?   
  
Coming closer to hell again  
  
The season I found you is surrounded by pure white snow,  
  
We warmed each other's bodies numb with the cold in the shadow of a   
  
parting that was to someday come.   
  
Bury me deeper, close these eyes, until I can't move at all  
  
Until I no longer remember visions of you laughing softly.   
  
Looking at the growing number of scars,   
  
I wonder if I will be taken with my degraded self ?   
  
The season I found you is surrounded by pure white snow,  
  
We consoled each other through our loneliness.   
  
We gave up on forever but...  
  
Bury me deeper, close these eyes, until I can't move at all  
  
Because this cold blooded beast will just continue to scream here.  
  
Hate me utterly, let me continue to live on inside of you.   
  
Someday this gouged out memory will melt like the powder snow   
  
********************************************************************  
  
Damn! I suppose there is a first time for everything and I couldn't help but for once not use an original poem. It's just that this song fit really nice, not so much with the chapter but the story in general so I must say that those lyrics above are not written by me [grrrrr] but rather a quite lovely song called "Powder Snow" by Pierrot. Anyway please review and everyone's favourite is coming soon.... slash!  
  
~*~ And just one more thing... I would like to congratulate Dat Phan from "Last Comic Standing" for winning last night! He really deserved it and of course as a big fan I voted as many times as possible and forced everyone I knew to do the same! YAY FOR DAT! 


	6. Uncontrol

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, only the plot to which this fan fiction follows and the poetry at the end of the chapters. .... And I do own Kami-Sama! [he's not in the story but I love him all the same ::sigh::] Kami-sama ga suki desu!  
  
A/N: Harry is very OOC in this chapter.... I think at least.... ::Shrugs shoulders::... I bet Draco is too....  
  
Whooo, I can't believe I already have six chapters out, it's quite thrilling! I feel really bad because I have received a few requests for the slash to occur already and I made this chapter already without it but I hope you all understand why I'm dragging this out and try to be patient with me. I promise some slash for the next chapter which I will try to get out as soon as possible. Anyway I would like to take a moment and thank ALL of my reviewers that have reviewed so far; Thanks so much! Now to thank the recent ones...  
  
Malfoyrage: Sorry it took so long to respond to the emails... stuff happens... you know how that is. Im glad you like it, thanks for reviewing!  
  
Voltor: Ahhh , Im sorry, no slash this chapter but the boys will have a little fun next chapter.  
  
Daily_Prophetess: Oh thank you! Your so sweet.  
  
Rose: Yes, very sweet. ::nods head::  
  
Frito the Great: Here it is....  
  
Lampshadesrgreat: Thank you, I try when it comes to updating.  
  
Morphia1: I'm glad you like it, I'll do my best at updating.  
  
ACDC4913: I'm trying, haha...  
  
Raku-San: Glad you think so, Huzzah you did get it, all the titles of the chapter are titles of jrock songs, but the bottom poems are mine, hehe!  
  
KC26: Oh Thank you!  
  
Autumsun: Why didn't you think you were gonna like it? :sniffle:: Haha Im just kidding, Im glad you like and by the way I was really touched that you reviewed mine because I love yours! Thanks for making that guy, Snape's nephew or whatever evil because I love Draco, haha!   
  
Chapter Six: "Uncontrol"  
  
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Harry sat in the nearly desolated library staring at a yellow faded book, not really able to concentrate on the words on the antique like pages that were becoming a blur of lines and strange symbols. Harry sighed as he closed the book and glanced around the room his finding himself in a strange state indeed. It seemed, to him, ever since that day where Draco accepted his offer of friendship everything and yet at the same time nothing changed. In public that acted like the enemies that always were but when alone, everything was different. Harry hated to admit it but he felt so much safer when he was with Draco, and not so miserable. He even noticed that ever since that day with Draco, he had yet to cut himself.   
  
"Harry, can I talk to you?" Hermione asked as she took a seat next to the boy who lived  
  
"Sure 'Mione, what's the matter?"  
  
"Well... I've noticed, the past couple of months, you've been more down than usual. Every time I ask if you are okay you say that your fine but... it just doesn't seem you really are."  
  
"It's okay Hermione, really it's nothing. I can handle everything, it's all being taken care of."  
  
"By Malfoy?"   
  
Hermione raised an eyebrow playfully as she asked this while trying to hide a smile at the fact that Harry was slightly blushing. Before he could respond though, her lighthearted mood changed a bit as she looked at Harry seriously.  
  
"Look Harry, I know you and Malfoy have become pretty good friends these last two weeks, for some reason Ron nor I can comprehend ... although I don't think that you and Draco understand it either. Nevertheless, I know you really value that friendship but don't forget that Ron and I are your friends as well and we are here for you."  
  
"Oh Hermione, I know that you're here for me and I would never forget you or Ron. I just suppose that in some strange way Draco and I can relate to eachother more than either of us thought. 'Mione can I tell you something?"  
  
The young girl nodded her head while Harry moved his chair around so he could face her.  
  
"When you asked me if I way gay... well I don't know if I am, I'm not sure if I ever will but I do know that I can't help but find myself attracted to this one person, this one guy. I can't explain the way I feel around him, it's almost painful. But I still feel the need to be near him, constantly, I wanna always be there just to catch this little things he does and–  
  
"Wait," Hermione interrupted, "This is Draco Malfoy we are talking about here?"  
  
"I know it sounds crazy 'Mione but... he's not the person you think, or at least he's not always that person. There are times when he smiles sincerely, or when he drops his cold 'Don't get near me I'm a Malfoy act' and he has pure raw emotion in his eyes."  
  
Hermione smiled kindly and started to get up from her chair.   
  
"I can't believe you have a thing for Malfoy, I mean a thing that goes past physical, but you're my friend so you know I'm gonna be here for you."  
  
"I know Hermione, thanks."  
  
With that she gave him another smile and headed out the library while Harry watched and allowed what he just said sink in. There he had admitted his feelings for Draco that he hadn't even admitted to himself, at least not fully. In any case he couldn't dwell on such things, Draco would never feel that way about him nor did Harry, in his mind, deserve to have Draco feel anything towards him. Just thinking about Draco right then though brought a smile to Harry's face as he decided he would go surprise the Slytherin and waltz into Draco's room. One of his favourite pastimes.  
  
The raven-haired Gryffindor was outside the door once again when he heard voices within and took a moment to hide behind the Slytherin's door. Though, in sudden remembrance, he remember that he had on the invisibility cloak and the door was slightly ajar allowing Harry to go in and watch unnoticed. As Harry entered silently he realized that the voices belonged to Draco, of course, and Blaise Zabini.  
  
"Come on Blaise, Im tired... just leave my room already."  
  
"Or what?" Blaise questioned nearly flirtatiously as he leaned towards Draco while smirking.  
  
"Or I'll tell all of Hogwarts your little secret," the blonde Slytherin responded while pushing Blaise playfully returning the smirk with his own famous one.  
  
"You mean tell them all that I'm bisexual?" the dark-haired slytherin asked while rasing an elegant brow, "Feel free to babe, then all the open-minded guys in Hogwarts will now that I'm available."  
  
"Don't call me babe," Draco stated seriously yet still carried a smirk.  
  
'Are they flirting' Harry asked to himself feeling inevitable jealousy pour through his veins. He didn't want this to last much longer nor see it much longer but couldn't bring himself to leave. Helpless, the boy who lived remained in the corner, unseen by the two Slytherins, as he suddenly felt himself get angry. Blaise suddenly turned as if he was going to leave but first wrapped his arms around Draco.  
  
"Why not babe?"  
  
"Just get out Blaise," Draco grunted as he gave the other boy a slight shove pushing him out of the room and then closing the door behind him.  
  
Harry took this moment to remove the cloak and reveal him self from the shadowed corner in the Slytherin's room. Draco moved around and was slightly startled to see the boy who lived there with a dark scowl.  
  
"Decided to pay me a visit?" Draco asked with something between a smirk and smile.  
  
Harry ignored Draco's question and in turn asked one of his own.  
  
"What was that all about?"  
  
"Are you referring to my conversation with the lovely Blaise Zabini?"  
  
"Lovely?" Harry hissed, "That stupid git's far from lovely! He's... He's..."  
  
Draco couldn't help but smile at the sudden angry that Harry was showing along with his flushed face which caused him to look far too adorable that even the cold-hearted Slytherin couldn't ignore.  
  
"Don't smile! I don't find this very funny!" Harry exclaimed and seeing that Draco was still smiling and seemed even on the brink of laughter nearly threw himself at the Slytherin pinning Draco against the door his arms pressing Draco's down. Of course, though, Draco was certainly a stronger boy and quickly turned the tables on Harry by escaping his grasp and in turn pinning the boy who lived against the door.  
  
"Stop it Harry! You sound like a jealous school girl. You should hear yourself! Hah, now calm yourself."  
  
"Fine, but will you let me go?" Harry asked wincing slightly. Draco had a pretty strong hold on Harry at the moment.  
  
"No," Draco answered his steel eyes clouded with a fervent emotion that Harry couldn't quite decipher.  
  
"Look Draco, I'm sorry for barging in here and acting like a school-girl or however you wish to put it but could you just let me go and I'll leave you alone, okay?"  
  
Harry could feel a slight blush creep into his face as he realized how foolish he had been in his previous outburst. He waited but Draco didn't release his firm grasp on the raven-haired boy. Instead he just shook his head no slightly, a few wisps of his light hair, that was usually gelled back firmly, falling in front of his face. Harry sighed suddenly feeling very tired.  
  
"Come on Draco, what do you want?"  
  
Draco kept his killer grip on Harry and leaned closer to the boy who lived so that his face was a few inches away from Harry's. Harry could now clearly see that the emotion that filled the Slytherin's silvery eyes was pure, untainted desire. He answered Harry's question in one short word that filled the room with a sudden, sweet tension.  
  
"You..."  
  
***************************************  
  
There's a bitterness inside  
  
A silence that resides  
  
Awaken by a painful fire that calls my name  
  
These horrors are always the same  
  
Lost in those eyes  
  
I hated these crimson tears I cried  
  
Fall unto broken arms  
  
The last heartbreak served with angst charms  
  
There was a resound peace in that moment  
  
In which the fragrant world melted away  
  
And I grasped onto it with childish fear  
  
I needed the feeling to stay  
  
I love you so very much  
  
But that has nothing to do with it  
  
*****************************************  
  
Ah, my first cliffhanger type situation. This chapter didn't come out quite as I hoped, for I had the whole idea in my head but for some reason had much trouble getting down. Anyway I can assure that this story has a bit more to go before any ending but I want to know now if you would prefer a happy or sad ending. Please do tell and I will take all suggestions into consideration. Thanks much! In any case I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please please please review! They make my day! 


	7. Speed of Desperate

Disclaimer: ....read the others....  
  
Okay here is part seven. I can't believe I go *so* many reviews for my last chapter. Oh and let me make the announcement here and hope that everyone won't need it repeated again and again in each chapter. Harry and Draco are very OOC. What do you expect? I mean it is a fan fiction. Haha well besides that I don't have much to say so let me just go on to thank my reviewers....  
  
Malfoyrage: Hey hun! I haven't heard from you in awhile, sorry about the length of the last email I sent you, my brother barged into my room and requested MY laptop. Most likely to just download more porn. :sigh:: I don't know what I'm gonna do with him. Anyway thanks for reviewing!  
  
Rose: Hehe, you're my favourite! Heh, I love long reviews or things that pertain to such. Ah yes, there is much passion being stirred between the young boys. Where shall it all lead? Soon those answers shall be answered. That's means you have to keep reading! Hehe. Thanks for the review.   
  
Asian Girl: Goodness Iseul, what am I gonna do to you!? I still can't believe you convinced me to give you the link to my story. Haha when I get into heavy slash I don't want you to give me strange looks in school. Haha, never mind, you have heard my strange jrock fantasies... by the way thanks for the blind fold idea.... ^_^  
  
Bitna: Haha, I can't believe Iseul gave you the link! I'm gonna kill her! No, I'm just kidding, I'm glad you liked it. And by the way Cori sucks, *don't* make up wit her. She seems a prep and will never understand out dear Mana-sama, Haha...  
  
Nikolai: Yes indeed you are my neighbor... and for way too long now! We really need to move! Goodness it's been ten years. There has to be a better place than Sleepy Hollow. I know we are all gonna move to the city together but some of us aren't already accepted to the college there already! Ahhh, applications... I don't wanna stress on that right now... Haha thanks for reviewing though. I'm glad you liked it.  
  
Draco + Harry: I like your pen name, its very kawaii! Thanks for your sweet review. I'm getting good feedback on my poetry which makes me really happy because personally I'm always down on my poems. Thank you for reviewing!   
  
Horselover: Oh thank you so much! It means a lot that you like my writing and the poems as well. I will make sure to tell you about updates and such.  
  
Pyrefly: Oh but I don't like sweets.. Hehe but thank you for the tidings...  
  
Hyperbubble: Thank you!  
  
NayNymic: And so it does begin...  
  
Sesshomaru's girl: Thanks so much!  
  
Anda: Im sorry you think that...  
  
Rain Tenshi: Thank so much! You shall know soon!  
  
Lampshadesrgreat: Well here it is...  
  
Carmella: Yay you read it. Haha, and you have joined the cult... hahaha... ok never mind....  
  
Joy: Thank you for your input. And thanks so much for reviewing, I love your story it is an honor to have you read mine.  
  
Voltor: Im glad you liked the chapter. Here is the next for you!  
  
Katie113: Im so glad you like the story! Thank you for your input.  
  
ACDC4913: Thanks for the review. I will check out your story.  
  
KC26: I would love to have you as a beta. Haha here is the chapter, sorry for being evil.  
  
Frito the great: Well your patience it awarded here is the next chapter!  
  
Minerva4: Haha, Draco can be the seductive fiend at times. Haha hope you enjoy this chapter!  
  
~Here's a quick recap of what happened last chapter...  
  
Harry could feel a slight blush creep into his face as he realized how foolish he had been in his previous outburst. He waited but Draco didn't release his firm grasp on the raven-haired boy. Instead he just shook his head no slightly, a few wisps of his light hair, that was usually gelled back firmly, falling in front of his face. Harry sighed suddenly feeling very tired.  
  
"Come on Draco, what do you want?"  
  
Draco kept his killer grip on the boy and leaned closer to the boy who lived so that his face was a few inches away from Harry's. Harry could now clearly see that the emotion that filled the Slytherin's silvery eyes was pure, untainted desire. He answered Harry's question in one short word that filled the room with a sudden, sweet tension.  
  
"You..."  
  
Chapter Seven: "Speed of Desperate"  
  
#######################################  
  
Harry's emerald green eyes widened slightly as he stared into the Slytherin's fierce and smoldering gaze. Draco's silvery-gray eyes pierced into Harry with a passion-filled desire that made the boy who lived feel quite uneasy... or perhaps that was something else. In any case Harry didn't have much time to think or say a word before Draco brought his face closer so that his lips were barely an inch away from the other boy's. Their eyes locked once again before Draco lowered his face and captured Harry's lips in a strong and needy kiss. Harry felt a jolt run through his veins as his heartbeat increased due to the sudden contact between the two boys. He shivered slightly as he felt Draco's tongue run across his lips pleading for entrance that the boy who lived readily granted. Feeling Draco's tongue explore his mouth was more than Harry could handle as he heard himself, uncontrollably, moan low in this throat. He felt completely out of control, especially when he noticed that Draco still had him pressed against the door his arms being held down by the Slytherin's own slightly stronger ones. Harry didn't know how anything could feel this good, he had never ever experienced anything like this before. Nothing like kissing Draco Malfoy... WAIT! He was kissing Draco Malfoy!!! Suddenly Harry felt a panic wash over him as he pushed the blonde slytherin away.   
  
"Draco... we can't do this... This is wrong...," Harry said his voice slightly shaking.  
  
Draco's eyes glanced quickly to the floor but not before Harry noticed the slight hurt expression that was hidden deep inside. Harry outwardly sighed not wanting hurt Draco in the least. Nor did he wish to reject him but they couldn't.... could they? Before he could decide himself, Draco lifted his eyes again this time the hurt covered by a cold glare.  
  
Draco wasn't planning on kissing Harry, and even more so he didn't plan on Harry pushing him away. He thought Harry wanted to be there for him, and from the lust filled glances Draco sometimes caught he was sure that the boy who lived wanted him as well. But what had just happened? He wanted Harry and he thought that Harry would be there for him... but it must have been a lie. Draco felt a sudden pain deep within but he suppressed it and allowed his cold side, the one that didn't get hurt, to take over now. He skillfully arched an eyebrow and gave his coldest smirk.  
  
"You're what's wrong Potter."  
  
"Please Draco, don't so this. I wanna be your friend I swear. But... this is going too fast. I-I'm not like you, I'm not that sure of myself. I just..."  
  
Harry trailed off his words, realizing he didn't know what he was saying. He was just desperate and wanted Draco to not be angry at him.  
  
"Just leave..." Draco said so softly it was nearly a whisper.  
  
"Draco..."  
  
"Leave!" Draco said much louder and this time giving the raven-haired boy a slight shove.  
  
Harry saw he didn't have much of a choice as he gave one more desperate glance at Draco and left the room. Draco quickly slammed the door behind Harry and stomped over to his bed. With a light sigh he threw himself on top of the bed and slowly brought his long, delicate fingers to his lips. He let the soft fingertips lightly trace over the surface of his lips, still buzzing slightly from the previous kiss. Malfoy's weren't supposed to feel vulnerable, and yet Draco couldn't help but feel that loathed emotion sweep over him again and again. And then there was a fear, a fervent fear that for once in his life, Draco Malfoy wouldn't get what he wanted...   
  
"Damn that potter..." he murmured to himself.  
  
##########################################################  
  
Harry stumbled into the hall and hastily made his way back to his room, still slightly flushed from the passionate kiss Draco and himself had just shared. But then he felt a sudden pang of hurt deep in his core knowing that he had pushed Draco away. It was the last thing he wanted to do, Harry never meant to reject him, but he did. Harry felt waves upon waves of guilt wash over himself but he quickly pushed it away and tried to think of a way he could make it up to the Slytherin. A small smile played across the raven-haired boy as an idea appeared into his head. Tomorrow Draco would forget about everything that had just occluded, tomorrow...  
  
########################################################  
  
Harry entered the food hall I think... what's it called? and took a seat next to Hermione and Ron.  
  
"Hey Harry, how are things going...?" Hermione asked something of a suggestive hint in her voice.  
  
Harry only rolled his eyes at this while Hermione continued to smirk at the boy who lived with one eyebrow raised a bit. Ron just kept looking between the two with a confused countenance, yet he kept his mouth shut. Something inside told Ron this had something to do with the whole gay issue and even worse perhaps Malfoy as well. As far as he was concerned, in this case at least, ignorance truly was bliss and while the peculiar exchange occurred between the two Gryffindors Ron kept his attention severely on the food in front of him.  
  
At that moment Draco entered, arrogance radiating off the pale elegant Slytherin as he walked towards the his table. On his way over Hermione saw Harry raise his emerald eyes expectantly but was only met by an fierce icy glare, Draco's silvery eyes flaming with suppressed anger. The eye contact only lasted a few moments before Draco broke the bitter stare and went his way over to his table. Now it was Hermione's turn to be surprised.  
  
"Harry what was that about? I thought you and Malfoy were okay." Hermione questioned, her eyes drowning in confusion.  
  
"He's just a little upset about something. Don't worry, he won't be by tomorrow," Harry responded with a mischievous grin that made Hermione flush a light shade of red and forced Ron to stare even harder at his food as if it were the most interesting thing he had ever seen.  
  
"I'll take your word on it...," Hermione responded with a small smile.  
  
#############################################################  
  
"Traitor," Pansy spat as Draco passed her on his way to his room.  
  
"What was that Pansy?" Draco replied rather calm but still in a cold tone.  
  
"You heard me Draco! You're a traitor! A disgrace to the Malfoy name, you don't deserve to be a Slytherin!" she retorted turning red from anger.  
  
"I don't have time for you dear. I have better things to attend to."  
  
"Potter you mean? You've been spending far too much with the boy. What has become of you!?"  
  
Draco suddenly felt himself become quite angered at hearing the name of the boy who lived and found himself pushing Pansy against the wall.  
  
"What!? You think I've changed!? You don't even know who I am! And I could give a damn about that Potter boy!" Draco shouted in a harsh tone giving her one more push before releasing her and storming off towards his room.  
  
If only those words were true, well of course it was rather factual that Pansy had no clue who he was, but deep within Draco knew it wasn't true the he didn't give a damn about Harry. It made him feel sick to his stomach but the denial was tearing him apart. Draco couldn't truly lie to himself when he knew that he was attracted to the boy but still, to have feelings for him? It all just put his head into a large amount of pain and the blonde Slytherin decided that for the night he would do his best not to think about the whole horrid mess of a situation until tomorrow. Or at least that's what he thought...  
  
As Draco pushed open the door to his room, his greyish-silver eye widened greatly in surprise to find Harry's invisibility cloak draped over a chair and Harry, himself, lying on Draco's bed in quite a suggestive manner. Draco was stunned, in utter shock and found himself just standing in the doorway unable to move or speak. Of course Harry took care of that and as the blonde Slytherin stood there Harry got up and moved over slowly stopping when he was a few inches from Draco.  
  
"Harry... what are you doing?"  
  
Harry placed a finger over Draco's elegant, alluring lips and gave a seductive smile.  
  
"We can talk later..."  
  
That was all Draco needed as he saw Harry's jade eyes dilate slightly with desire and knew his own silvery eyes only radiating back pure lust. He liked this other side of Harry, this more aggressive side and certainly more sexy side but before he could make a move Harry captured his lips in a kiss, soft at first but increasingly passionate.  
  
Draco moved his graceful hands to bring Harry closer to him but much to his disappointment, the boy who lived moved away.  
  
"Tonight is for you," Harry stated in a husky whisper as he led Draco to the bed.  
  
The blonde Slytherin no longer protested but rather complied with Harry's request as he was thrown upon the bed.. Throwing himself of top of the boy, Harry straddled himself so that his legs were on either side of the Slytherin as he pressed his hands down on Draco's shoulder so he couldn't move. Harry placed a swift kiss on Draco's mouth before moving to work on his neck., kissing, sucking and even lightly biting the pale flesh beneath his eager mouth. Draco moaned low in his throat as Harry began to undo his robes in a slow teasing manner while wearing a smirk that was quite foreign to his face. After what seemed an excruciating long amount of time, Harry had completed his task of removing Draco's robe among the rest of his attire. Inevitably Draco felt a little uncomfortable as he realized he was lying in the nude while Harry still was fully clothed. As if sensing Draco's worries, Harry captured the Slytherin's lips in yet another deep passionate kiss before breaking it with a slight smile on his face.  
  
"What shall I do to you my dragon?" Harry asked in a husky tone as he made his way down Draco's chest resting his head right in between the Slytherins legs.  
  
Draco wasn't going to plead with Harry. There was no way he would give the satisfaction to the boy who lived. But then Draco had to lift his head slightly and see glowing emerald eyes stare lustfully at him through messy locks of dark hair and those perfect lips awaiting to devour all of Draco. He knew there was no way to avoid it.  
  
"Please Harry... now..."  
  
That was all the encouragement the raven-haired boy needed as he took his tongue and ran it up the length of Draco's erection. Draco moaned lustfully as Harry pulled himself away for a moment to glance at Draco's face, wanting to absorb every reaction he could pull from the boy. Catching the need and desire that consumed the Slytherin's steely eyes, Harry gave a satisfied smile and went back to work on Draco. He licked his lips in a slow manner before taking all of Draco into his mouth, sucking slowly and pressing his tongue along the hot flesh, making it even harder than before. Draco's incoherent gasps urged Harry to keep going as he consented to Draco's muffled pleas increasing his pace and becoming more rough with the boy. Harry could feel Draco tense and knew he was close, so deliciously close.  
  
"Yes, Harry..." Draco gasped as he released himself into Harry's mouth.  
  
As Draco began to catch his breath, the boy who lived raised himself to meet Draco's lips, allowing him to feel his own taste against the elegant lips. Of course reality came rushing came rushing back as Draco realized what had just happened.  
  
"Harry...?"  
  
Harry smiled slightly at hearing his name and reluctantly pulled himself away from Draco.  
  
"I do want you Draco."  
  
Draco unavoidably felt a smile break across his face. "Is that what all this was about?"  
  
"No. We can speak tomorrow though. Meet me in the Astronomy Tower tomorrow night."  
  
Draco could only nod his head lightly as Harry stood up and put on the invisibility cloak as he departed from his room.  
  
"Tomorrow," Draco murmured to himself, "Tomorrow..."  
  
*************************************************  
  
These distorted heavens scream for me once again  
  
But now I can no longer think only feel  
  
Flesh upon flesh, desire taken into words unknown  
  
If only for tonight so that I may know what is real  
  
For this unforgiving night I will take away the pain  
  
So that those scarlet tears may disperse  
  
Lost in the fervent storm of violent rain  
  
I can't breathe knowing the cruelty of reality  
  
So I look away for the goodbye at dawn is too sorrowful for me  
  
The laugher in my ear mocks what never can be  
  
*************************************************  
  
Ahhh, this chapter took me a while and it still came out really bad! ::sigh:: Oh well, I will try to make the next one a little better. I think I have the ending down, at least in my mind and I hope you all enjoy it. Until then I'm not too sure how long to make this story but I will just go with what happens.  
  
A/N: My cousin Sadako and I have began a Snape Cult [yes we are insane] and if anyone would be interested in joining please do email me. Its sooooo easy to join and it will be quite interesting once you have entered. Hope to hear from all of you! 


	8. Sayonara

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot (???) to this fic and the poem at the end of each chapter.  
  
I Just wanted to say that I have decided to as quickly as possible complete this story. Much thanks to any and all reviewers and especially Rose for her very long, slightly insane (^_~), and   
  
rather touching review and email. Thank you again for putting my fan fiction on your site and I promise once this one is finished I will make sure to start again on a much better and well written fan fiction. And now onto the second to last chapter...  
  
Chapter 8: Sayonara  
  
Tomorrow had come sooner then Draco would have ever wished. It sped by, the classes in which he thought would take far too long flashed by and now the eager and anxious Slytherin waited inside the Astronomy Tower, staring into the deep inky sky that consumed him like a disease. Interminable thoughts swarmed his head, intertwining themselves in useless patterns, worries, concerns, fears, they intermingled in a swamp of silly thoughts, endless thoughts. Draco could feel his breath hitch as he saw a figure approach him from the corner enveloped in shadows. Draco couldn't comprehend the strange feeling he felt, the anxieties that filled his mind, as he waited for Harry to arrive. It was all too late to deny that he felt an attraction to the boy, the disheveled dark hair and piercing green eyes could have a massive effect on anyone... but there was something else. Whatever else this was frightened Draco more than his father and Voldemort combined. It was a raw, pure emotion, something other than a familiar lust, a feeling that made Draco want to talk about things he never knew he cared about. But did this mean he was weak? That's how it was taught in the Malfoy Manor. Malfoy... the name that carried such responsibility, and ever so much meaning... And yet when Draco was with Harry that meaning seemed so very empty. He couldn't think like this, Harry would only hurt him some how. Draco never knew how to truly hurt. The feeling and pain became numb at a young age, and the desolate Draco took over. He didn't want to feel. He couldn't bear to feel again. And he wouldn't....  
  
"Draco..."  
  
The figure fully emerged from the shadows revealing himself to be none other than Harry Potter. He looked just as nervous as Draco felt as he slowly moved over to the window in which Draco was near. Harry's eyes were stormy with emotions that the Slytherin couldn't quite decipher.  
  
"Draco," he started once again taking a small step forward, "there's something I need to tell you..."  
  
But what was it that Harry needed to tell Draco? Could he admit something to the fair-haired boy in front of him that he had barely admitted to himself? Harry still was in shock that he could actually harbor feelings for the usually cruel and arrogant Slytherin.  
  
All the emotions Draco had tried in vain to suppress came flooding back at seeing Harry's nervous posture, his anxious countenance and those vibrant emerald eyes that stared straight into Draco's in such a forward manner it seemed to contradict the obvious discomfort within Harry's being. Despite the rush of emotion overtaking the blonde Slytherin, Draco pushed aside these fervent feelings and prepared himself to do what he must. It was his duty as a Malfoy... he couldn't let himself become attached to anything nor anyone. He had to end whatever it was that was beginning to spark between the two, these foolish feelings that had begun to eat away at Draco's entire being. He opened his mouth, ready to speak and stop this all right away but was quickly interrupted by a pair of warm strong arms wrapping around himself.  
  
Harry, not knowing how to tell Draco about his feelings could only do the first thing that came to mind. He swiftly moved over to the blonde and embraced him.   
  
Draco's breath hitched for a moment feeling the warm figure against himself, so close that Draco could feel the Gryfindor's heartbeat thundering against him, fierce and rapid much like the heartbeat of the pale Slytherin's. The emotions that poured from Harry to Draco in that one simple embrace were so pure, so real, and so very strong it was nearly painful to feel. Draco was stuck, lost forever in this painful embrace, drowning in feelings that were always denied to his usual cold and empty exterior. He couldn't do it.. He had to break this right now.  
  
"I want to be with you..."  
  
Harry's soft words caused something inside of Draco to break. He couldn't do this. After taking one more breath Draco betrayed every feeling and emotion that was surging through his being at the moment.   
  
"No..."  
  
The word fell from Draco's mouth before he could even realize what he was doing. Taking a small step back and exiting from the fervent embrace he gave Harry a hard shove causing the Boy Who Lived to fall a few steps back. It took all of Draco's inner strength to ignore the hurt and confusion which passed over Harry's face.  
  
The Slytherin's face quickly iced over, his turbulent grey eyes frosting into frozen pools of silver, his pale face utterly still.  
  
"Well Potter," Draco bitterly spat, "Did you ever dare to think that perhaps I don't want to be with you. Your so foolish, thinking that I care about you... Your just a conquest, a silly little prize in my game. And looks as if I've won, seems you're a little whore Potter huh?"  
  
Harry winced but remained silent as he took a few steps away from the pale Slytherin. Draco smirked at this and continued.   
  
"Golden boy... hardly, your nothing but a tramp, a stupid Gryfindor slut. Your nothing to me!"  
  
Harry was now a considerable distance form Draco, his emerald eyes wide with shock and drowning in interminable pain.   
  
"You lie.." was all The Boy Who Lived could respond his voice low and shaking.  
  
In turn Draco smirked once again and shook his head.  
  
"But what about all those things you told me. About how truthfully you didn't want to be like your father, about how you never wanted to be a death eater, all those many things about yourself and your feelings..."  
  
Harry stopped talking at hearing the blonde's cruel laughter.  
  
"Don't believe everything you hear Potter. Really, did you actually believe any of that rubbish!?"  
  
Draco paused expecting the raven-haired Gryfindor to quickly say no and then leave but instead he saw Harry's eyes soften slightly. It seemed the light of the moon reflected tears in the boy's eyes.  
  
"Actually I did..." Harry said softly not even trying to conceal the bitter misery in his voice.  
  
Draco painfully kept his face straight and attempted to respond nastily but was interrupted by Harry's voice.  
  
"But obviously I was horribly mistaken," this was said still slightly soft but now it was drenched in fierce anger. The dark-haired Gryfindor didn't even bother to look up again at the pale Slytherin as Harry marched out of the Astronomy Tower.  
  
Draco fell back involuntarily a few steps and slouched against the cold wall of the tower. His silver eyes released unwanted silent tears as he lowered his head unto his arms.  
  
'It's better this way,' he whispered to himself, 'It's my duty as a Malfoy.'  
  
###############################  
  
Sorry for being so foolish  
  
Im sorry for being so naive  
  
Where are those promises faded unto me  
  
Look a your lies now setting with that morbid sky  
  
Laugh lightly at the withering light as you watched me cry  
  
Embracing your dying words, shattered reflection of  
  
Something that never was, watching it fade away  
  
Where is that foolish trust, snatched away from me  
  
Left alone your broken smile look at your sweet words die  
  
Lasting whispers of nonexistent hopes  
  
I'll turn away again  
  
Watch as you pretend   
  
###############################  
  
Ugh that's such a bad ending to the chapter but I didn't really know how to end this chapter. Alright so next chapter will be the last. I would again like to thank my reviewers who had reviewed my 7th chapter all those months ago and thank you again to Rose ^_^ . As for the poem, well I don't know how well it works. I actually wrote it about this guy and I happened to write it on this word document and decided to keep it. Hehe, anyway please review and tell me what you think. I believe I have an idea for an ending but any and all suggestions are welcome. 


	9. Forever Love

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the plot (???) to this fic and the poem at the end of each chapter.  
  
Alright.. So here is the final chapter. This is my Christmas present to all the reviewers... I finally updated/finished the story. I wish I had more pride in this story for then I would be able to make a bigger deal about it coming to a close. I hope the ending doesn't seem too fluffy or unrealistic. In any case, even though it didn't turn out how I wanted it too I did have fun writing it and all the kind and encouraging reviews have meant so much to me. So thank you very much to everyone who reviewed my story throughout this entire time and those who joined in through the middle and end. I have two other stories "Vanilla" and "Crucify my Love". It would mean a lot to me if anyone reading this fic would check those out as well and perhaps leave a review. Thanks so much. I also will be working on a new and better Harry/Draco fiction and I'm making a few Lupin/Snape fan fictions for another site that I may post here. I hope to hear from all of you again! And now onto the thanks for last chapter...  
  
Rose: How can I express my undying love to you. And ofcourse you may post me on your other sites, heh. I am working on that Lupin/Snape one for your other site. By the way can you email me the links. I am a fiend and lost them. and much thanks for reviewing my story all this time and for being such a loyal reader!  
  
mr_hyde: Yes, they are all jrock songs and perhaps about two have noticed before. I hope you enjoy the story, have fun reading ^_^  
  
Mine B: Hm, intersting suggestion but the majority of my readers beg for a happy ending. Sorry heh _ Thanks for reviewing though!  
  
Joy: Ah Draco is a filthy knave indeed. Don't worry though, he will make it up to Harry. Thanks for all the reviews and I can't wait to read more of your stories. Have they moved? If so can you email me the links. Heh thanks Joy!  
  
stampedelove: Thanks for reviewing! And you will have to read to see ^_~  
  
NayNymic: Im sorry to have left you there in suspense. Yes angt can be rather.. angsty at times, heh. Don't fret though, read this chapter and I think you will be satisfied.  
  
Minerva Teller of tales: Thank you! I hope you enjoy the ending, thanks for reviewing.  
  
Chapter 9: Forever Love  
  
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The droning continuous voice of the Potions Master consumed the classroom in a commanding force that no one would dare attempt to ignore; no one except Draco Malfoy. The only thing that could catch his fervent attention at the time was the empty seat a few feet in front of him. Harry Potter's empty seat. Draco had come late to breakfast in order to avoid having to watch the green-eyed Gryfindor walk in but to his surprise, as he passed the crowded Gryfindor table Harry's seat was empty much like it was now in the Potions classroom. His heart clenched painfully to think that Harry could be skipping his classes due to Draco's insensitivity.   
  
But it wasn't that Draco was insensitive, he just was merely.... scared? Yes, as much as the supercilious Slytherin might not want to admit it he was horribly frightened of the feelings Harry brought out in him; and even worse the consequences that could come with such feelings. But even worse than the fervent emotions he felt when he was with Harry was the bitter pain of when he was without him. He couldn't go on much longer like this...  
  
@^@^@^@^@^@^@^@  
  
Harry lay inside his desolate room, while other student were busy at class, finding himself completely drained. His face buried deep within his pillow, Harry contemplated the fervent thoughts that ran through his mind. How could it be that he, Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived, could have fallen for Draco Malfoy the son of Lucius Malfoy, a death eater.   
  
It all confused him immensely, these feelings the pale boy brought out of Harry, the way everything melted away when his green eyes met with Draco's fierce silver ones.  
  
He was just about to break free of this interminable sulking when he heard a knock at the door. Slowly walking to the door he wondered to himself who would come to his room whilst classes were being held. In one fluid motion Harry opened the door his eyes open wide in shock as he saw the Slytherin prince, Draco Malfoy, himself.  
  
"What do you want?" Harry hissed coldly.  
  
"...I, I-"  
  
"What? You wish to tell me about my unworthiness, your stature as a Malfoy? Or do you wish to call me a whore again?" Harry asked angrily nearly whispering the last part.  
  
"I just need to talk to you.."  
  
Harry stayed with a stolid expression but he didn't force Draco to leave. Instead he waited silently, relentlessly staring at the blonde Slytherin who seemed uncharacteristically nervous. After what seemed nearly a minute of silence Harry impatiently moved away from the door and the quiet Slytherin.   
  
"If your not going to say anything Draco, then just leave."  
  
"No, I can't go Harry..."  
  
Harry gave a bitter laugh before turning his face away slightly.  
  
"Give me one good reason why I should let you stay."  
  
Draco looked straight into Harry's eyes with his own silver piercing ones before he crisply and honestly responded.  
  
"I love you."  
  
Harry turned around fully at this and faced Draco. His jade eyes glowed but with something that Draco couldn't quite decipher.  
  
"But you can't..."  
  
Draco laughed bitterly but his eyes shone with a strange calm and obvious honesty.  
  
"I know... but I do," Draco responded as he took a step forward without so much another thought he grabbed Harry and pulled him close so that the Slytherin's mouth was right next to Harry's ear, "I love you so much Harry."  
  
At first Harry stood unresponsive to Draco's words, as if still digesting them, and of course they were indeed something that needed time to think about. Harry didn't know why he felt so much for the arrogant Slytherin or why Draco should feel the same thing back. Draco never felt, never showed emotion, always so very composed but now Harry had broken that. It was overwhelming to Harry that he himself could have caused Draco to feel... to love. Perhaps they were more alike then he would admit, but the whole situation was rather confusing. Yet still the raven-haired Gryfindor knew how he felt, and if that was all he had now he would take it.  
  
Pulling slightly away from Draco, Harry stood a few inches from his face and with a small smile leaned in capturing the fair-haired boy's lips in a kiss. He could hear Draco sigh and melt into the kiss and as he gave a slight moan Harry took the opportunity to slide his tongue inside Draco's making the kiss much more passionate and less innocent. After a few moments though Draco pulled away his face slightly flushed, his eyes rather serious. Harry leaned in again and gave Draco a light kiss, his lips hardly brushing over the other boys as if to reassure the surprisingly vulnerable boy in front of him.  
  
"I love you too Draco. I'll never know why but I do," Harry whispered and with the last part he offered a teasing smile.  
  
Draco nodded sadly as this and responded, "Well what are we going to do about it now?"  
  
Harry knew that Draco was right in what he implied with the sad tone of his voice. No one would ever accept this, most of all Draco's father Lucius Malfoy. If there love was in fact true would it even be strong enough to take it all. Harry sighed and then glanced at Draco's silver eyes which at the moment looked a bit anxious with a glint of hope deep within them. It was enough to convince Harry that it wasn't time to worry about such things. Putting on his most seductive face he pulled Draco as close as he possible could to him.  
  
"I can think of something we can do."  
  
And with that Harry pulled Draco onto the floor with him, straddling him Harry placed small kisses from his collar bone to his jaw line. Draco let the thoughts and worries slip away from him as Harry began to undo his robes. He may not know anything about love, but who did? As far as he was concerned in this place, this moment he loved Harry. And for now that was enough.  
  
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I can no longer walk alone   
  
The winds of time are too strong   
  
I should have gotten used   
  
To hurting, but now…   
  
Please hold   
  
My weeping heart   
  
In this time when everything keeps changing   
  
If we have our unchanging love   
  
Will you hold my heart?   
  
Please catch my tears   
  
It seems as if it will break, all my heart   
  
Forever love, forever dream   
  
Only my overflowing memories   
  
Passionately, painfully fill the time   
  
Oh, tell me why   
  
All I see is blue in my heart   
  
Will you stay with me?   
  
Until the wind passes away   
  
Once again they overflow, all my tears   
  
Forever love, forever dream   
  
Please stay by my side   
  
In the dawn, hold my trembling heart   
  
Oh, stay with me   
  
Ah, if only it would all end   
  
In this endless night   
  
Ah, there is nothing   
  
That I would lose, except you   
  
Forever love, forever dream   
  
Please stay by my side   
  
In the dawn, hold my trembling heart   
  
Will you stay with me?   
  
Until the wind passes away   
  
More than anyone, I want you with me   
  
Forever love, forever dream   
  
I can't walk any further than this   
  
Oh, tell me why; oh, tell me true   
  
Tell me the meaning of life   
  
Forever love, forever dream   
  
In the midst of my overflowing tears   
  
Until that shining season becomes eternity   
  
Forever love   
  
"Forever Love"  
  
~ X Japan  
  
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~@~ The End ~@~ 


End file.
